I CAN MOONWALK!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
