Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
