I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
