This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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