I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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