yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
