God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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