If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
