My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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