So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
