I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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