We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
