Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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