Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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