We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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