Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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