Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize