should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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