We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
