idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
