Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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