Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're so nebulous sometimes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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