If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
