I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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