All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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