Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
