having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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