"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
