Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
