he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
