I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
