i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So vagazzling was a success
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
