I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
