OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
