I hate your face
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize