Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize