Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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