11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
