Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize