Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
im on a boat
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