why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
