we're blogging at a bar
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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