therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
