It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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