I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
