I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
