i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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