How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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