Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Say something about gay babies.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
