i jhust puked up my retainher.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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