I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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