so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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