I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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