Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
