did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
