hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
