The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
