she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
