Porn is love you can see.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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