Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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