How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
